What I’m Teaching My Children About Love Now | Breaking the Cycle

Healing the Next Generation, One Moment at a Time

When I left my abusive relationship, I didn’t just leave for me—I left for them.

My boys.

They had seen too much. Heard too much. Felt too much tension in rooms that should have held nothing but safety.

I knew I couldn’t rewrite the past. But I could rewrite what came next. And that started with what I taught them about love.

Love Isn’t Control. It’s Respect.

In our old life, love came with strings. With fear. With silence. With conditions.

Now, I teach my boys that real love isn’t loud or cruel or demanding. It’s:

• Listening when someone is upset.
• Respecting boundaries—even when you don’t understand them.
• Saying “sorry” and meaning it.
• Speaking kindly—even when emotions are high.

We talk openly about what love feels like—not just what it looks like. Because they need to know the difference between attention and affection. Between power and partnership.

Love Starts with Self-Worth

I remind them that their feelings are valid. Their voices matter. That they don’t need to shrink to keep someone else happy.

We’re breaking the cycle one conversation at a time. And I model it, too. I show them that Mummy loves herself now. That I don’t tolerate unkindness. That I value my peace and speak up for what’s right.

Because the greatest lesson I can teach them about love… is how I treat myself.

Love Is Play, Presence, and Patience

We laugh more now. We hug longer. We talk about the hard stuff. We create space for mistakes. And we repair when needed.

They are learning that love isn’t perfection. It’s connection.

And they’re healing too.

Even my eldest—my emotional whirlwind—is learning how to express without fear. That alone is worth everything.

🔥 Your Heart-Centered Challenge Today

• Reflect: What did love look like in your childhood or relationship?
• Redefine it: Write your own definition of love based on how you want your children to experience it.
• Reparent with love: Choose one small way to model healthy love today—for you and them.

You are stronger than your struggles. And the love you give yourself now is the legacy they’ll carry forward.

📚 RECOMMENDED FOR YOU:

💡 Book: The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary – A beautiful guide on healing through parenting and raising emotionally aware children.
💡 Free Resource: Raising with Respect – A Printable Guide to Healthy Love – coming soon!ae.