Reclaiming My Identity After Abuse | Confidence, Work & Worth

From Barely Surviving to Boldly Living Again

There was a time when I didn’t recognise myself in the mirror.

Not because I looked different—but because the woman staring back at me had been erased. Bit by bit. Day by day. Until all that was left was a shell—functioning, existing, surviving.

I wasn’t me anymore.

I was a mum. A wife. A peacekeeper. A fixer. A shadow of the woman I used to be.

But somewhere deep inside, I still had a fire. Dimmed, yes. But not gone.

The Turning Point That Changed Everything

When I left my abusive relationship, I didn’t walk into sunshine and rainbows. I walked into survival. Into fear. Into instability.

But I also walked into possibility.

And then, something changed.

I was offered a job. In an industry I loved.

At first, I doubted myself: “Am I good enough? Will I mess it up? What if they realise I’m broken?”

But I said yes. And that “yes” gave me everything.

I Was Seen Again

For the first time in years, I was valued for my skills. Not criticised. Not belittled. Not told I was “just making pocket money.”

I was contributing. Creating. Problem-solving. Learning.

I was showing my children what it means to get back up.

It wasn’t just about the job. It was about what it represented:

• I had purpose.
• I had something that was mine.
• I was in control of my time, my energy, my direction.

I wasn’t just surviving anymore. I was living.

Becoming Whole Again

It’s hard to explain the moment you realise you’re no longer just a mum. Or just “someone who escaped.”

You’re a woman. With dreams. With opinions. With worth.

You don’t need permission to exist anymore. You don’t need approval to feel proud. You don’t need someone else’s love to feel whole.

You are enough. Just as you are.

And reclaiming that truth? It’s one of the most powerful experiences of your life.

🔥 Your Empowerment Challenge Today

• Write a list of all the things you’re good at (big or small).
• Choose one skill or passion to nurture this week.
• Take one small step: apply for something, sign up for a free course, start a journal.

Every action, no matter how small, builds momentum.

You are stronger than your struggles. And your identity is not lost—it’s just waiting to be reawakened.

📚 RECOMMENDED FOR YOU:

💡 Book: Becoming by Michelle Obama – A beautiful reminder that our identities are not fixed, and our growth is never over.
💡 Free Resource: Skills That Set You Free worksheet – coming soon!