How to Start Loving Yourself After Abuse | Self-Worth Recovery for Women

There wasn’t some big moment with fireworks or a miracle breakthrough.

It happened quietly.
In the middle of a cold morning.
I was holding a cheap cup of tea, wearing an oversized hoodie, my hair a mess, and my heart barely stitched together.

And I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

And instead of flinching… I paused.

Because for the first time in forever, I didn’t hate who I saw.

I didn’t feel disgust.
I didn’t look away.

It wasn’t love. Not yet.
But it was less hate.
And that’s where it started.

🌿 The Truth Most Survivors Don’t Say Out Loud

You don’t walk out of abuse and feel free.
You feel guilty. Ashamed. Numb.
You second-guess every decision, flinch when the phone rings, and feel like your body belongs to someone else.

You don’t wake up one day and “love yourself.”
You learn to return to yourself. Bit by bit. Moment by moment.

Self-love doesn’t start with a glow-up.

It starts with grief.

✨ 3 Ways to Know You're Ready to Start Loving Yourself Again

Even if you're not healed yet. Even if you're still shaking.

💛 1. You're Tired of Apologising for Existing

You stop saying “sorry” for being too emotional, too much, too tired.
You start asking: “What if I’m not too much? What if I’m just… enough?”

💛 2. You’re Craving Something That’s Yours

Maybe it’s a quiet bath without rushing.
Maybe it’s £3 from a cashback app.
Maybe it’s writing in a notebook no one else reads.

That craving? That’s your spirit trying to come back home to you.

💛 3. You Feel a Tiny Spark of Anger

Anger is sacred. It’s your soul saying, “No more.”

And sometimes, that spark becomes your fire.
The fire that rebuilds your life, your voice, and your self-worth.

💬 How to Start Loving Yourself Right Now (Yes, Right Now)

If you don’t know where to begin, try this:

📝 Grab a pen or your notes app.
💛 Write a love letter… to the version of you that stayed.
💛 Thank her for surviving.
💛 Tell her she doesn’t have to keep shrinking anymore.

Even if it’s messy. Even if you cry.
Write it anyway.

Because the version of you that kept going when everything hurt?

She deserves to be loved first.

🔥 Your Power Step Today:

🕯 Light a candle.
☕ Make yourself a drink.
📓 Write one thing you admire about yourself — even if it’s just, “I kept going.”

And say out loud:

“I am worth more than survival. I deserve joy.”

Because you do.

And I promise you — your life will feel beautiful again.
Not perfect. But peaceful. And yours.

🛍️ Recommended for You:

💡 “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk]